The Royal House of Windsor has announced that the Buckingham Palace State Rooms will be opening as a night club every Saturday evening to raise funds for the strapped for cash estate.
Complaints from local residents have already begun; Colin Hawkins of no fixed abode claimed has been abuse on several occasions by hooligan style toffs from near by popular hang out ‘The Ritz’. “One time” said Mr Hawkins “I was called a smelly old fart”. Local police authorities have no record of this event but are looking into the matter.
It is believed that the Coldstream Guards will be acting as doorman to give the atmosphere a royal theme, while DJs will play disco and funk music. “Not any old riff raff can come pouring in” said a member of Her Majesties staff “Only the top toffs will be allowed in”. A Coldstream Guard during a night out in a public house on The Strand told us “Anyone trying to get in with less than a £250,000 a year income will be told p##s off out of it” Spokesman for the estate told us to go away.