Canine geneticists have engineered a breed of dog that doesn't shit, 'do a poo' or even have to 'go to the bathroom'.
'It's what we have been trying to achieve for years -ever since the day I trod dog mess onto the carpet at Balliol,' said Dr Marcus Hund of Oxford University.'Our genetically modified pit bulls will revolutionize the sometimes fraught relationship between dog owners and the rest of society.'
Dr Hund said that earlier attempts at breeding a non-shitting dog had hit difficulties. 'We thought we had finally done it when the dogs didn't do a poo or a pee for a week. But then the dogs would suddenly explode with pretty horrendous results. It was a bit of a mess, to put it lightly.'
Dr Hund explained that non-shittimg dogs 'internally re-cycle their waste' which also meant they didn't need feeding as much. 'A bonus is a big saving in dog food,' Dr Hund said.
'We have created the most environmentally friendly dog to date.'
Dog owners welcomed the new breed, although some said they would miss the daily walks with their pet and the excitement of letting the dog 'have a secret shit' outside a neighbour's front door.
The manufacturers of dog poo bags said there would still be a demand for their product from 'purist dog lovers who believe a proper dog should shit at least twice a day and preferably in the high street, in a children's playground, or on a Blue Flag beach'.
Lamp posts are believed to be relieved at the news.
Crufts said they would be creating a new prize category for next year's show though the new breed would probably carry off the prizes for Good Citizen Dog. A 'Golden Turd' prize category was under consideration.
Dr Hund said he'd had enquiries from 'a Corgi dog owner' about the new breed.
But a Buckingham Palace spokesman denied that the Queen would be interested in a non-shitting Corgi.
'Obviously, Her Majesty isn't even aware that her dogs do a pee or a shit', he said.