Westminster police in liaison with Parliament's sergeant-at-arms today launched an urgent inquiry to capture the person responsible for snatching George Osborne's lunchbox.
The chancellor's lunchbox this Wednesday, according to reliable information supplied by Mrs Osborne, contained one rather small cumberland sausage and two 'Taste the Difference' plums with skins removed. “There might also have been a bag of nuts and a few cream crackers,” reported Frances Osborne, a keen writer of fiction and avid fan of TV's Masterchef.
The Osborne lunchbox, along with several others, was snatched shortly before PMQs from the cross-party refrigerator housed in the corridor behind the Speaker's chair. According to a government spokesman, most Tory MP's have voluntarily given up fine dining during the recession - and have taken to bringing in their own sandwiches.
Amongst other reported thefts on Wednesday, Local Government Minister, Eric Pickles, lost a modest hamper from Fortnums. It contained several freshly cooked Gloucester Old Spot pork chops, a few Melton Mowbray pies, one small suckling pig, some jam doughnuts, two bottles of 1982 Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a plastic jeroboam of diet coca cola.