Less than a week after his re-election, Barack Obama announced today that the US army is to invade the United States of America early next week in an effort to bring 'western-style democracy' to the beleaguered country.
"It is an outrage that in the most powerful nation in the world," the President announced outside Congress, "many people in Florida did not have the chance to vote, or that voters in California have proportionally less say than those in New Hampshire, or that votes cast in Texas are effectively ignored." He went on to promise "swift and decisive" action to depose the undemocratic government of the "rogue republic".
The administration hopes to oust itself by the end of 2015, and hold the USA's first "truly democratic" election shortly afterwards. In the meantime, a temporary military government will take control of Washington DC, with the US Army's Commander in Chief as its head. Since the Commander in Chief will have been removed from power by this point, President Obama is set to step in personally to fill the role.
Citizens of the USA have been advised that the transition period will not affect their day-to-day lives, and to treat it as business as usual.