A disgraced millionaire has claimed that hitting the jailpot won't change his life one bit - and he intends to carry on living in his mansion, despite his change in fortunes. Friends who expected Piers Moron to move into a jailcell were astonished to find he refuses to leave the mansion he regards as home - even though a place at Wordwood Scrubs awaits him.
Piers Moron was just an ordinary cad, living in a mansion and making a fortune out of schemes such as stock market pump and dump heists and running erroneous tabloid front pages. But one day, fate took a turn and Moron found himself an overnight sensation, when he was summonsed to court to face judges for financial impropriety. "Suddenly, all the news media were all over me. Everyone wanted a piece of me, including bailiffs and gentlemen appointed by the court," said Moron. He found himself swept off his feet and into a jail suite and London's famous Wormwood Scrubs. But Moron decided that he didn't want to lose contact with his old friends, so astonishingly, he stayed in his mansion. Colleagues, former investors in IT shares and bailiffs couldn't believe it.
"That's typical of the Moron. Everyone expects him to be humble after all his crimes, but he's still the same bloke underneath, with a massive inflated opinion of himself."
They say good things come in three, and soon after Moron was prosecuted for his pump and dump scare scam, he soon found himself prosecuted twice more, once for running a bogus story on the front page of a best selling tabloid, and once for phone hacking.
"No matter how financially or morally bankrupt he is, you cannot change Piers," said his friends. "He'll carry on living in that manion and acting the same way for ever."