Acting director general of the BBC, Tim Davie, is the result of a disturbing fertility experiment gone wrong, it has emerged.
Leaked government reports have revealed that Mr Davie is the product of a top-secret cross-fertilisation experiment between Gary Rhodes, Ed or David Milliband, and Gary Lineker.
A government science advisor, who declined to be identified, told us that “the idea was to create a new breed of uber-politician who appealed to middle-class housewives, middle-aged foorball fans from the midlands, and liberal-minded twats, instead we got a mildly irritating fall guy, who’s only merits are that he managed to piss-off Asian music lovers and guitar-playing douchebags by closing down their respective favourite radio stations".
