Against a background of benefit cuts, fuel hikes, tax increases, job losses and double-dip recessions goverment critics have complained about the lack of good news emanating from the Exchequer.
In an effort to boost public morale the department has today announced some positive news which, says Chancellor, George Osborne will “inject enthusiasm and give hope to millions of hard pressed tax payers.”
In the first piece of good news Melissa Copthorne-Jones, an intern within the Public Private Partnerships office was given a new pony at her 21st Birthday celebration in Chipping Norton last weekend. “I am so thrilled to get a new mount for my birthday,” said an excited Melissa, “mummy and daddy decided to cash in a few poorly performing shares to buy Baxter and he’s going to be great company for Jodhpur, Freckles and Mr Scallywag.”
In another upbeat story Finance Assistant, 24 year old Maynard Soames has announced plans to take a gap year to South East Asia where he hopes to gain experience in futures trading at the Singapore Stock Exchange. He will be sponsored by financiers Thompson, Weston and Thorpe-Stanley (TWATS) with an option to move to Hong Kong or Tokyo in the New year.
A spokesman for the Exchequer said, “We intend to drip feed good news stories such as these over the coming months, or years. The tax paying public has a right to have access to good news instead of being bombarded with negative stories from the media.”
However opposition leaders have condemned the attempt to bring cheer to the British public. A Labour Party spokesman said, “Frankly Osborne and co are completely out of touch with real issues affecting real people. For example I sold my Hampstead apartment last week, in a recession, and made £250,000 on the deal. That’s what people really want to hear about.”