Philip Schofield was said to be jubilant last night after news that Spielberg films has bought the rights to his epic tome, ‘Schofield’s List’
The film will tell the story of Phillippus Schofeld, a British TV presenter and businessman who triumphs by ruining the lives of five prominent policitians during a media witch hunt, resulting in them seeking refugee status in the Ecuadorean embassy in London alongside other alleged sex-pests and perverts.
It will star Gordon Gophburg as Schofeld, Fern Britton as care home superintendent, Myfanwy Evans, and Jimmy Carr as care home accountant Dai Owen. John Williams has already begun to compose the score which is said to be based on ‘Suspect Men of Harlech.’
Ideas for a film were originally proposed by British prime minister, David Cameron who was secretly passed a copy of the list during a live television broadcast. “It absolutely moved me to tears and I knew that the story of Phillippus Schofeld had to be told. It is a truly important historical document.”
Spielberg tried to pass on the project to several other directors before finally deciding to direct the film himself after listening to a string of paedophile denials.
Filming will take place in North Wales and Jersey.