Experienced economist, George Osborne, has admitted that the Country finds the deficit a 'complete turn off'. He lays the blame firmly at the door of the Bank of England. "They've banged on about black holes in Government finances for months now. The Bank of England must take responsibility for the Country's financial ennui and raise interest."
Advisors in the Treasury want the Bank to capitalise on the phrase 'Boom Bust'.
"We've seen what it's done for Jordan's profile and, whilst we'd never suggest anything as pointed, a united front - a coalition's coalition, if you will - could ensure the Electorate becomes numerically literate," said an excited David Laws.
Recent opinion polls prove categorically that governor Mervyn King, the one no-one can ever remember, suffers by not being called Eddie.
"Eddie is a good, strong, English name," continued Laws, "associated with lorries, short, fat comics and ski-jumping - not to mention the Queen's youngest son. It is a name intrinsically linked with talent and success."
With this in mind, the Treasury has engaged presenter Graham Norton to front a new Saturday night TV show: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Inflation?
"I'm ever so excited," cooed Norton. "I was told banking would make me go blind - and instead, I'm getting a big, fat bonus! Who'd have thought?"
There will be guest appearances by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Paul Daniels, Jim Davidson and Phil Collins, all of whom will regularly threaten to leave the country.
"This project is yet another example of progressive politics," said George Osborne, taking his turn at the podium. "For thirteen years, the Labour administration gave the impression that everyone in the Bank of England was a boring grey-suited man. We have appointed some lovely lady bankers, and they'll also be on the show; announcing the scores and parading the prizes."
Mr Osborne denied he was 'sexing up' banking.
Mervyn King, in his counting house, was not available for comment.
How To Solve a Problem Like Inflation
BBC1, Saturdays, 7pm