Early signs of the deadly festive spirit have been reported across large swathes of the UK.
'It has already been spotted in most areas of the country,' said anthropologist Ruth Samoa,'and is spreading rapidly.It is already rampant in shopping malls.'
Festive spirit arrives annually in the UK in the autumn, but experts say it is appearing earlier every year. Symptoms include widespread stress in victims reaching a peak in December with depression lasting into the new year.
Early signs of its arrival include the appearance of tinsel, glitter and baubles in houses and shops.Tens of thousands of spruce trees are wiped-out during the festive spirit season.
Experts say that the arrival of the festive season can be dated from the appearance of the first DFS Christmas furniture sale advertisement - usually in July.