it is Judgement Day on the Neat-o moustache efforts!
after peaking early in the week, here are the results:
Firstly, in my rigorous pursuit of excellence, I trawled the spam entries and went for this morning's:
'1 girvan ft buckie thistle 0'
which contained the line "En fascinator er en headpiece som er utformet for å bli festet" which I chose to interpret as "a swedish fascinator for the upper lip, fashioned exquisitely from canada goose arse feathers" (intended for the more effette chap, as the one-foot Girvan bristly thistle number was obviously aimed at red-blooded caber tossers). I can't read swedish, or norwegian, or whatever it was, but If it had been entered as a Neat-o, I'd have given it silver gilt
also I'd like to give an honourable mention to a sub that got pulled from the field of play before the game was over by Uncle Bertie. It was something about drugs being 'stashed' under the noses of someoneorother at an unfashionable football club. The concept made me smile.
However, from those that DO qualify:
Joint bottom (someone has to be): Perks, Jetfab and Charleshat (with hangover)
10th, Yikes wins points for the effort that grew the fastest, with a full Selleck sprouted within 5 minutes Magnum opus
Joint 9th, too reprehensible for stars, I award moons to Dick Everyman for his unsavoury little entry (a terrible tickler) and the hilariously un-PC effort at sexual equality from Ironduke for Muffember
8th, Charlieshat riposte was a touché cryptic, but rather good for all that ...mouse't he?
7th, small tufty effort from Simonjmr had the great line re "The Lawrenceson - a wispy little caterpiller"
6th, Wife forgives husband’s ‘Porno’ past, was a delightful anecdote we believe, from the Midfield Memoirs (strenuously denied by the author) well played
5th to Antharrison for the post that reminds some of us that there is no tache quite like Grandma's
4th place, a Scroat topical forest
3rd, fabulous re-entry by Pinxit's Curiosity Rover (Hawaii high five)
2nd, the bare faced cheek of Weemat was smooth (we were all jealous of the casual genius of that one, a deserved ticker it made too), and beaten by a whisker by
The Winner: Beau Jolly "Office workers to be culled following outbreak of face fungus" - razor sharp (partly because of all the sights I have had to endure this week)
Over to you BJ!