After punishing America for its moral decline, the consortium of Gods behind Hurricane Sandy is to turn its anger on Britain, a spokesman for combined fundamentalists has promised.
Hurricane Sandy, said a spokesman for the union of religious fundamentalists, was a punishment for a variety of collapses in standards. The Taliban has claimed that 'sandy' was a punishment for US foreign policy. Meanwhile, a host of other deities demonstrated their feelings too. Christian fundamentalists claimed that adverse weather conditions were a Biblical reaction to America's abortion clinics. Evangelicals claimed the storm carnage was revenge for the tolerance of homosexuality. "Every single fundamentalist religious leader has called upon their god to create some kind of climate change on that fateful week end," said a spokesman, Collectively, they formed a perfect storm of righteous anger from the various heavens, say weather experts.
Now, having punished America, the gods of fundamentalism are set to punish Britain for its descent into moral decay. Some ecumenical scholars are warning that this small island could be hit by an even bigger series of Godly indignation. "There are so many things about Britain to upset the various fundamentalists. It's equally tolerant of homosexuals, if not even more. Church attendances are down, which will also anger the men upstairs. Then there's the decline in marriage. Women are going to work. Girls are going to school. Neither of those are going down a storm with the gods," said a spokesman. " Or rather they are."
Britain faces additional righteous indignation from the heavens. The almighty are understood to be hopping mad about a range of issues that America is not guilty of: the obsession with class, the inability to have a mature political debate, pathetically weak regulatory bodies like OFGEN and the FSA, and tax dodging millionaires at the BBC have all infuriated the Omnipresent community. Saint Christopher, the patron of transport, is understood to be livid that they're still charging for the Dartford crossing, even though tolls were only supposed to las until the bridge was paid for.
As a result, Britain could face a perfect storm so intense that it could force theologists to rewrite the scriptures.
The Archbishop of Canterbury defended the actions of the gods. "It's time the Omnipotent stopped being pushed around. Besides, there's no such thing as bad weather, Just the wrong set of moral choices."