The Bank of England has admitted that the decision to print £375 billion of new money was thwarted by the extortionate cost of the inkjet cartridges used by the the Royal Mint to print the new banknotes.
'We expected to inject the £325 billion to help businesses and homeowners to regenerate the UK economy, but failed to realise that using inkjet cartridges, and more particularly, three colour cartridges which run-out when the lowest ink tank compartment is empty was a false economy, and already we have spent £750 billion on cartridges alone never mind the cost of the paper and the mileage to to Staples' admitted Bank Governer Mervyn King.
Financial analysts have criticised the Bank for failing to invest in proper colour laser printed bank notes on the basis they would be much cheaper to produce and would not run when wet.
Bank officials are however sure that the latest initiative to send each other £10 notes by fax and cut them out with a pair of scissors will save the economy 'Unless it's sunny' commented Mervyn King 'When they'll just fade away like old Tesco receipts containing the lifetime guarantee of your £50 frying pan.'
King has also unveiled a strategic initiative to ensure that all the colours in inkjet cartridges can be used in a more balanced way 'The £20 note was particularly heavy on the blue ink, but by replacing Her Majesty's image with Homer Simpson we can also ensure that all the yellow ink is used, making the cartridges last 50% longer.We'll be quids in if we can squeeze-in Alex Ferguson's nose to make sure we use all the purple.'