Leading medical experts have warned that increased use of spermicide treated condoms in non vital instances is leading to a resistance to the chemicals in human spermatozoa. Analysis suggests the resistance has developed as a result of the inappropriate use of condoms as water balloons, fire alarm sheaves and food freezer bags.
A recently released map of population density projections suggests large increases in London and the South East, but that the increased news coverage might improve control in Liverpool over the next generation (14 years).
"It is essentially the same problem as antibiotics", says human biologist, Samantha Perrins. "The public don't know how to use them. The stronger members of the population survive and multiply to give a stronger overall population. Ironically, it is the reverse in modern human society."
A recent survey suggested 58 % of school teenagers think condoms are the best way to protect a carrot from STIs whilst 39 % of pub locals think that the fetherlight brand make any contents lighter to carry and nicer to touch.
The Government has encouraged wayward speculation that sperm are out of control and may cause a serious health threat if they mutate. Rumours that the new breed of sperm could impregnate women, even if they haven't shared a toilet seat with a bloke have led to a 15 % reduction in the pregnacy rate in Rochdale in the last two weeks alone.
