Oil industry worker Justin Welby (56) says he was 'gobsmacked' when he heard he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.
'I was having a few morning pints with the lads before being flown back for another six months on the oil rigs,' he said, 'when the landlord said he'd heard on the telly that I was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury. I was bloody gobsmacked.'
But it was only after Justin had bought several celebratory rounds that he discovered it was all a mistake.
'It seems there's another guy with the same name who worked in the oil industry. But I should have known it was a mistake - the nearest I've ever been to attending church was when I once fell through the roof of St Martin in the Fields,' he said.