In the face of desperate public pleas to disaggregate autumn charity events so that Poppy Day, Children in Need, Movember and Halloween don't all come at once. The CEOs of the organising charities (British Legion, Children in Need, Prostate Cancer and Hallmark Cards respectively) have banded together to propose a 'Coalition' of charitable events.
Sir Percival Cartel, spokesman for the Coalition huffed robustly "We don't see why we should move our events, but we could get a bit more organised".
Daniel Fossick, a compassion-fatigued management accountant complained "We only just get over being harrassed by apprentice muggers dressed as the junior undead yelling 'trick or treat', when we have to put on poppies, embarrassing smudges on our upper lips, and random fancy dress for Pudsey. The compromise fancy dress of choice seems to be 'Pirates of the Bloody Carribean', i.e. undead, patch over one eye, untidy facial hair ...but with a poppy."
The CEOs of the Charity Coalition have listened to concerns, and proposed a dress code of 'Poppy Pudsey Pumpkin the Undead Pirate'. Under the PPP UP initiative a blanket subscription 'contribution' of £50 for the month will cover all donations, and people will get used to looking silly without having to continually come up with new outfits.
"Actually the inevitable trail of paper poppy debris mixes well with fallen 'decomposing' bits of corpse, so the theme could work." sighed Fossick, waggling a sparkler.