Pubs and clubs the length of England have been inundated with drinkers trying desperately to get in condition for the forthcoming World Cup.
Wetherspoons report 'a late surge by casual and part-time drinkers, desperately trying to get in some last minute training before the big day arrives.
'Some of these guys have left it a little late, we haven't seen some of them since the last Ashes series' said landlord Ray Davies of The Fleece and Firkin in Bristol. 'but they are making every effort to be there. Clearly some of them are out of shape, they appear to have been hitting the salad bar rather than the snug but they are putting in a shift and the hours of extra training are beginning to show.
We are still three weeks away from the tournament and yet some of these guys are already a ghostly grey, bloated beyond recognition of just a few weeks ago and some have already had time off work.
I've never heard so many opinions on how Cappelo can get the best out of Stevie G or why Chopper Harris got his nickname.
If the England players show this level of commitment then I think we already have one hand on the trophy.
The World Cup might be coming home, but I doubt half of this lot will make it past The Red Lion.'
Supermarkets are also seing a marked increase in the sales of 'barbacol' as dads prepare to fire up the barbeque and put the lager on ice, while the kids watch the entire 10 hours analysis on Skysports before each England game and before they get to turn down a charred chilli-burger.
One dad admitted he hadn't been over to inspect the state of the barbeque since Jamie's birthday party last summer 'I forgot to clean it up and so it was a bit of a mess but still in working order...in fact there was still a mini chicken wing on the grill that we must have forgot about. Amazingly it seemed OK, but I would still give it another 10 minutes just to be on the safe side.
'We are deeply impressed' said a spokesman for alcho-charity Drinkaway ' we had been concerned about the level of alcohol abuse coming into this World Cup, but we needn't have worried.
It hasn't been abused to this extent since the millenium celebrations.
A&E are on full alert'.
You'll Never Stagger Alone
(1 post) (1 voice)
Pubs and clubs the length of England have been inundated with drinkers trying desperately to get in condition for the forthcoming World Cup.Posted 5 years ago #
You must log in to post.