With just a few days to go, the race to find America’s silliest name is now too close to call.
‘It is a vintage contest’ said American silly name analyst John Smith. ‘We haven’t seen the likes of it since the days of Lyndon versus Barry and Dwight versus Adlai. It could even reach the heights of Woodrow and Theodore, or when Ulysses saw off Horatio and Horace in successive contests.’
Such is the tightness of the contest, analysts predict that voters could focus on the candidates other given name but even here opinion is divided as to which of Hussein or Willard is the sillier.
In desperation to clinch the silly name race, the candidates have controversially offered incentives for people to vote for them. Barack is offering free medical care and the ability for same sex couples to marry, while Mitt is pledging lower gasoline and gun prices.
But John Smith doubts the incentives will be successful: ‘I can’t imagine the American people being shallow enough to vote in a certain way in a silly name contest just because the candidate offers to give them stuff.’