Over a hundred MP’s of all sexes may be plunged into a new scandal this week as multiple admissions of members’ orgasm-faking emerge on both sides of the house. The Whips Offices of all parties except Respect have been holding crisis meetings behind closed doors all day after an unnamed MP said she or he had faked every orgasm claim since her election in 2007.
The Labour party now say in the light of the rumours new candidates for selection must "come prepared" to interviews.
“I couldn’t get an election for a long time” admitted Martin Price, MP for Wilmslow East, who preferred not to be named. “Then as soon as I got one, I started exaggerating my claims and then frankly, faking them all together. I know this was wrong, but travelling long distances between two houses, both in my constituency, took a heavy toll on my private life. It emerged that a husband and wife MP who also hid behind a curtain to talk to the media admitted to faking each other’s orgasms in an attempt to mislead.
It’s now likely that in order to regulate MP’s affairs, a publicly available register of orgasms might have to be created.