Local super=car nut Tony Michaels (43) was exposed yesterday as a "big car" driver who actually also has a large manhood.
"People alwayth think i am compenthating for thomething by dwiving a big automobile", said Mr Michaels.
He went on, "Nothing could be leth true. I am well pwoportioned in the penith department, and i thertainly dont theem to have anything elthe to compenthate for!"
Mr Michaels also denied strenuously that he knew Jimmy Savile.