McCrirrick (72) was seen storming into the reception area of the Channel 4 headquarters wearing only his Y-fronts and demanding to speak to the Regional Controller of Ageism. When told that such a person was not available he strutted around making exasperated noises and testiculating wildly at the ceiling and he had to be ‘forcibly moved on’ to a less visible location in the building by Gok Wan and Phil Spencer.
The channel bosses denied any age related discrimination, but said it actively pursued an unwritten policy discriminating against unattractive, chauvinistic, dated, unhygienic and ‘really rather pointless’ celebrities of any age.
McCrirrick, was later spotted curled up in a wheelie bin behind C4HQ - Zeinab Badawi House sobbing into a KFC bucket. He declined to comment further but was heard muttering between mouthfuls of coleslaw “I’ve already done CBB twice, what more is left??”
Council officials have warned Channel 4 that they face a fine of up to £250 if McCrirrick is not removed from the bin before it is collected. A spokesperson from the council confirmed “The site has an adequate sized container for the disposal of offal, and we would be happy to dispose of Mr McCrirrick if he is put in the right bin”
A local discount dog food manufacturer reassured pet owners that his staff would make every effort to ensure all traces of Mr McCrirrick would be picked out of their Tinalot Spine.