If he didn't fiddle with you when you were young, he's almost certainly going to be getting on your tits by now. That is the main finding of researchers looking into the effect of seeing Jimmy Savile grinning at you whenever you visit a UK news website.
'Please make it stop,' said regular news website browser Jenny Wilson. 'How many times must I look at that ridiculous fucking haircut? He looks like he was sired by Dougal from The Magic Roundabout. Can't editors just show a picture of that stupid big chair he sat in, or one of his bloody medal things? Anything! Just not him!'
Daily Mail journalist Melanie Phillips has called for the complete eradication of Jimmy Savile by means of national brain wipe events, 'but with torches and face paint and nakedness and violence,' said Phillips.
'That's how bad it's got,' said Jenny Wilson. 'I'm agreeing with Melanie Phillips.'