Lincolnshire County Council was thrown into 'total disarray' after discovering that the vital roles of 'Change Manager' and 'Diversity Coordinator' will be left unfilled due to the government's programme of cutbacks. In a further blow to the local community, Adult Education courses in crystal healing and Reiki have been slashed.
Dazed residents were reported to be wandering the streets in shock, unable to comprehend how society would continue to function. The entire public sector from Lincolnshire has been signed off sick with stress for two months, and all council employees over the age of 40 have taken early retirement due to ill health.
'Change managers are simply not something you can dispense with without severe, long-term consequence', warned one local trader. 'Not only that, but the education cutbacks could be a disaster for the county. Without a steady flow of inadequately-qualified practitioners of worthless pseudoscience, Lincoln's wellbeing industry will be brought to its knees.'
Council workers have organised a series of strikes to protest at the cutbacks. These are scheduled to take place in 'as little as 2 years', to allow adequate time for proper public consultation, and the recruitment of the council's new 'Industrial Relations Coordinating Manager' (Salary 55K, plus car, bonuses, generous pension entitlements, relocation package, subsidised canteen and assistance with home office costs).