I'm new to all this. I was attracted by the BBC2 declares war on BBC1 article. I loved it. Then I looked at some others. Very good. It makes me feel like giving it a try myself.
(32 posts) (21 voices)
Go for it!
But make sure it's funny, otherwise they'll get nasty.
Give it a go, but be prepared for constructive criticism.
There are some very, very good writers on here (I'm not one), and the advice they can give you is invaluable, so pay heed to what they say.
Good luck, and remember it's just for fun!
If you are Irish with a bit of Pole in you then you are definitely starting with a distinct comedic advantage. Have fun!!!!
You're certainly off to a marvellous start with the name.
Thanks for the welcome. The introduction was relatively easy. The hard part comes with trying to write something funny.
Welcome Mr B. maybe the best advice is to filter your content - many poor posters on here simply type in every single thing that pops into their head. The best subs have generally been loved a little prior to posting. I'm pretty much one liner only, but many of those have been sweated over and many more go in the bin!
Happy posting - its a nice place here.
yep - wot they said Paddy
Are you the bloke who frog-marched me to the cash point the other week?
No Gerontius that was Paddy Kermitski
And welcome from me too. I've only been here a week or so myself and could do with some company... :)
Anyway - it's certainly a fine site with lots of really excellent writing going on. Not everywhere but mainly. Standards are very high and you've come to a good place. Best tip I can offer is to only submit stuff that you've worked on and polished. Give them your best and I'm sure you'll eventually get noticed.
I'll be lookin' out for you..
Welcome. The Eds help out with minor polishing if they like an idea fpr a FP or NIB and other writers will help you to enhance your submissions. It's a friendly place as well. If you trawl the archives you will find some gems such as these:
and of course
Or of course, follow the honored tradition of bashing homeopathy or organised religion for a surefire winner.
Steer clear of anything that is apple related by putting an "i" at the start of a word, surefire lazyness.
Welcome. Here's my advise.
If you're not sure which side of the decency line it's on just go for it anyway. (You may need to change your name and wear sunglasses for a bit but you'll soon find the measure - ask DVO)
Another good tip. If you write something you think is funny but everyone else thinks stinks its perfectly aceptable to have a great big hissy fit flouncing sweary tantrum. Always a laugh.
Oh and never accept advice from me. I haven't written anything funny since this; and its still only me who laughs at it (and it was tagged by a troll)
Read the guidelines:
Have a go, and learn from the feedback you get. Or lack of it. It's important to be able to differentiate between the people who know what they're talking about and the people who don't. If somebody says they like your sub then they probably know what they're talking about. If somebody says it's shit then they don't know what they're fucking talking about anyway so take no notice of them. Wankers.
That's the policy I stick to anyway.
Hi Paddy. Welcome. I'm pretty new here too, but for what it's worth:
- avoid funny names (Badger Kevin Davies is funnier than Badger Stripey McFatArse - arguable, but an editorial no-no)
- always aim for a cracking headline; it's what draws people into your story, and great stories with poor headlines often don't get read
- always aim for a great finishing sentence
- keep it lean; if in doubt, cut it out
- stay on target; keep the narrative consistent with the headline - it's easy to ramble off the point
- dive in; better to put something up and see what feedback you get (bearing in mind CH's point about giving your piece a bit of TLC beforehand) than nurture a piece for days only to find it could have benefited from some feedback a lot earlier
- always check that there is sufficient swearing in your piece; if in doubt, add some more
That last one is a personal approach rather than, perhaps, a hard and fast editorial guideline.
Best of luck
Forgot to mention. It helps if you're relatively sane. Some here are a bit bonkers, some seriously.
my advice: eat plenty of fruit, avoid adjectives, have early nights and showers not baths.
Never carry a small dog in a bag. It's undignified, and the dog will grow to resent you.
I just made my first attempt. It's a bit dark, but I hope it works.
No fats or femmes. Also, my ass hurts.
Still no better Rikkor?
Have you spoken to your Dr?
Hi Paddy, welcome to the picnic. A few pointers:
1) Don't be upset when people accuse you of being someone else
2) Sound sufficiently different from your pseudonyms so as not to arouse suspicion
3) Should you elect to leave the site, this must be done in a very public, temperamental and thoroughly reversible fashion
4) Write funny stuff and people will like you. Until they resent your success and claim favouritism. It's all a big clique here anyway.
Hope that helps - enjoy!
And Rikkor, I do worry so about this donkey of yours...
I'm not quite sure I understand a word of what you just said Mary. But thanks anyway. I was lost to begin with, and then the donkey thing completely threw me.
I received the photo Rikkor.
Whilst you have my sympathy, and I can certainly see it would cause fundamental ripening agony, please on no account send me similar literature ever again.
It is burnt on my retinas so deep I can even see your ass when I close my eyes, and my tears won't wash away the stain of your imagery. I do hope someone can help your ass, but that someone is most definitely not me.
Welcome Paddy. It would also help if you could submit tons of unfunny crap, annoy the hell out of everyone and then accuse the editor of favouring others over you. Then maybe I'll not be the most unpopular writer on the site any more.
There's always hope Oxy.
I reckon if those allegations levelled at Saville turn out to be true then you're in with a chance.
I know it's only the tiniest of straws...but grab it before it's out of reach.
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