Football was thrown into controversy yet again when all but five players in the Premiership refused to wear Football Association 'Nutmeg Homophobia Out Of The Game' T-shirts during warm-ups, preferring instead to wear their usual SKY, Barclays Bank, Starbucks and ATOS sponsored tops.
A prominent Premiership and Uruguay international said last night, 'We're all for the 'Kick it Out' anti-racism campaign and wearing the tops, er, except all the black players of course, but this is going too far.'
'The lads won't stand for it. We can't be seen by the fans to endorse such a sentiment. The nobs at the FA will be getting us to wear 'Bend Over Like Beckham' and 'Pass it to the Puff' shirts next. They do this then turn down Richard Keys' great idea for a 'Smash It' campaign. I really don't know what's going on in their heads.'
'Encouraging fans to dribble their balls between other player's legs, well, it's just not cricket, is it?'