Today's front page story is an old joke, and the ticker about the Isle of Wight presenting Antiques Roadshow as Tomorrow's World was on HIGNFY last week.
Visitors to Newsbiscuit, lured by tales of cutting-edge satire and original humour, will be disappointed I fear.
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I don't want to seem petty minded but
(32 posts) (22 voices)
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MrChigleysAunt
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
Oxbridge
offlineMemberWell, since I'm the alleged rip-off merchant in both cases, I had better answer.
I didn't see HIGNFY last week; I actually ripped that one off Sickipedia, where the contributor presumably saw it on HIGNFY or somewhere else that ripped it off from HIGNFY in the first place. It was a Uttoxeter joke there for some reason.
As for the FP, it is indeed a vaguely recalled joke from the last World Cup rewritten as a news story. (Heavily edited too, I take sugar in my tea and I'm not a crap driver, well all right I am but how would the editor know that?). It's pretty timeless so I think recycling was OK in this instance.
I actually logged on hoping my 100% original effort about the 'have-a-go hero' who was a better than average punter to a local prostitute might have made it, so it's a strange feeling all round...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Bwahahahaha
offlineMemberOxbridge - perhaps you could mark your "100% original" efforts with a little star or something, so we know which ones you wrote yourself and which ones you just
stole"vaguely recalled"?And ripping off from Sickipedia eh? I'm so impressed, the way you can cut and paste is pure artistry - Oscar Wilde never mastered the Control-C, Control-V combination like you - genius.
Posted 2 years ago # -
MrChigleysAunt
offlineMemberI didn't actually use the term "Rip-off merchant". I understand that Shakespeare got some of his best stuff from things he overheard in taverns and yet remains quite highly thought of. King Lear is an example.
And David Benedictus recently brought us "Return to the Hundred Acre Wood", "inspired" by Winnie the Pooh. And surely, only the most cynical amongst us would see his work as anything other than a respectful homage to a childhood favourite.
So, perhaps I should have prefixed my post "Dear Editor.." because it was primarily intended for him.Posted 2 years ago # -
Des Custard
offlineMemberMrChigleysAunt, you should have gone the whole hog and prefixed it 'Open letter'. Then we could have had a right old ding dong. As for the flag, I generally find the saltire offensive but he's not too bad in small doses.
Posted 2 years ago # -
editor
offlineAdministratorAlas we are dependent on the integrity of our contributors as we cannot catch every joke that is broadcast or published on the internet. I didn't see HIGNFY last week but wouldn't have put up that ticker joke if I had heard the line elsewhere.
If you have enjoyed a joke by someone else that you wish to share, then the place for that is on the Chat Room where due credit should be given. If you spot a joke on the Submissions Board that you know has been broadcast or published elsewhere, then please say so and it will help us avoid this sort of situation in the future...
Sometimes comedy minds all land on the same spot at about the same time, and when this happens we have to make a call as to whether we should still go ahead with an idea. For example, we were first with 'Leaders Wives' magazine, but it was done later by Private Eye and others, no doubt unaware that the idea was no longer original. The Onion did a piece about the Turin Shroud being dyed pink in the wash, which was very similar to a piece on NewsBiscuit. And we also did a hilarious front page in which we joked that the Liberals would go into coalition with the Tories and then Nick Clegg went and nicked that idea too...
But your own original jokes only please on the submissions board. I'm going to start with one about a Wide Mouth Frog...
Posted 2 years ago # -
thisisall1word
offlineMemberWe've all been on both sides of this at some point I guess, either unknowingly using someone/where else's old material or finding that someone/where else used your stuff.
I wrote a story this week which had been in my head for a while but I got to thinking that maybe I remembered it from reading it here instead of just thinking it up myself - so a quick search threw up a story which was quite different but had some of the same components.
So, when in doubt, or even as a good check anyway, search for similar stuff! Add your sources as a note might work too - newsbiscuit has been a bastion of journalistic integrity for decades and must remain so.Posted 2 years ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberWell, it's certainly made me cast a critical eye over Oxy's 'Civil War, interregnum & Restoration in Gloucestershire, 1640-1672' - particularly the chapter with the hobbits...
:-)Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberPlease let it be noted that that is now twice Oxy has "flounced" off. D'you think he's hamming it up now that he's been on tv?
Let's face it, ever since the whole "Mastermind" thing, he has turned into such a diva.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Des Custard
offlineMemberAn opera-hating diva at that. No wonder he's confused. Desperately trying to avoid the fat lady but doesn't know he's running from himself. Sounds like a plotline or I'm a Bavarian.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberGuten Tag Herr Custard!
Posted 2 years ago # -
antharrison
offlineMemberI've never heard of Sickipedia until Oxy was kind enough to point-it-out. After a quick review here are my favourite posted jokes...
First my wife said she'd lost her lipstick, then she couldn't find her mascara and now she's looking for her blusher.
I wish she'd mind her fucking makeup.I explained to the doctor, "Whenever I harvest our cornfields, I get a really bad headache."
"It's a migraine," he explained.
"No, it's not, it's mine - and why the fuck have you started speaking Italian?"I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."
Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded."
What fun that was...Walked past a restaurant last night and on the window it said - 'Order anything you want, if we don't have it, we'll pay you £500'.
Went in and ordered 'Giraffes kneecaps on toast'.
A short while later, the waiter returned with a cheque for £500 in my name and said "It's your lucky day, we're out of bread"How does Stephen Hawking close his windows?
Alt + F4I scared my girlfriend whilst driving too fast the other day and found her fear quite amusing.
She said, "You won't be laughing if you crash because then you'll have a crippled girlfriend."
I said, "No I wouldn't, I'd have a crippled ex-girlfriend."Today on Blue Peter we have something made by 8 year old Han
My trainersTwo policemen knocked on my door earlier and asked me to come down to the station to help them with their enquiries.
I told them to fuck off though. I mean, it's not like they ever pop into my office to give me a helping hand with the accounts.Posted 2 years ago # -
Doctor Moptop
offlineMemberIn every creative writing evening class, someone will turn up with a locked metal box under his arm.
He'll tap it occasionally, but make no mention of it.
Round about week three, someone will say "What's in the box, Malcolm?" (the chap's invariably called Malcolm) and Malcolm will stroke the box and say "Original material."
Week 4 or 5, someone will read out a first draft and Malcolm will get to his feet, red-faced and shout "That was my idea! You must've broken into my box during the tea break! I knew none of you were to be trusted."
Then he'll pick up his box, leave the room and never be seen again.
Don't let this happen in Newsbiscuit.
As T S Eliot (almost) said "Immature satirists imitate; mature satirists steal".
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberOr 'Oxyflounce' as I like to call him.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberFluffed, starched or whitened?
Posted 2 years ago #
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