A lack of attention during a sex education class is being blamed for a Harrowgate schoolboy nearly choking to death after constantly swallowing his food without chewing it.
“It seems to be a one-off as our boys are usually very attentive during sex-ed, especially during practical classes such as today’s self-pleasuring one” said Harrowgate headmaster John Rollo. “Every other boy seemed to absorb the lesson, though strangely they all went to the greengrocers afterwards to buy carrots ‘to be on the safe side’”.
Mr Rollo did note that like most boys, his students were prone to selective hearing: “At evening meal, I’m constantly reminding them to masticate their sausages, but they just sit there with a glazed look not even touching their food – they keep their hands under the table, for goodness sake. That frustrates me, but when I point out the sausage won’t just come in your mouth by itself they just laugh.”