In response to the nightmare of teenage unemployment Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg has announced an innovative partnership with Freddy Krueger to ‘assist’ young people in their search for their dream job.
“Mr Krueger, who has been brought out of retirement, will investigate nearly half-a-million dream job opportunities for teenagers by entering into their sub-consciousness and helping to bring their nightmares to a rapid conclusion.” He said in a speech at a school caretakers' convention in Blackpool. “We were looking for someone who was not afraid to hit the ground running.”
The longer term unemployed will be targeted first especially those who find themselves in a completely dead end.
“Mr Krueger has come with arms outstretched to help any teenager who finds his or herself in a blind alley. His razor sharp credentials, particular in facing teenage issues without reverting to kid gloves, are going to be a real asset in dealing with the problem of long term youth unemployment.”
Mr Krueger himself was unavailable for comment but is said to be looking forward to getting down to business.
Marketing agency Abbott Mead Vickers is already working on a UK wide advertising strategy which launches on Halloween with the slogan "One, Two, Freddy's coming for you” which will form part of a prime time television awareness campaign.