Very Lazy are to expand on their popular range of pre-chopped ingredients by introducing a selection of partially chewed meals. The new meals will target customers who want the satisfaction that comes with preparing and cooking your own food, but without the hassle of chopping ingredients or the hard work of fully chewing them once they are ready.
‘With all of the cookery programmes on TV at the moment people like to think that they could be the next Gordon Ramsay, but once they’ve finished swearing and cheating on their wives they realise that they can’t actually cook, and that’s where we come in.’ said Derek Gray, Very Lazy’s marketing director, wearing slip-on shoes, a clip-on tie and smelling slightly of Febreze and baby wipes.
Sales of the company’s pre-chopped garlic have dropped off since people started to realise that they could actually crush a fresh clove quicker than they can open the jar and get a spoon, so the partially chewed range is intended to mark a new beginning.
‘We needed something to re-energise the brand and we think this is it. We considered doing a range of prepared meals, including pre-toasted toast that you just have to warm up in the microwave. But this gives us something new, something unique, something that lazy people will be rushing to buy. As long as it’s available to order online of course.’
The new range will also be ethically produced, with all ingredients sourced at a fair price and all of the chewers paid a good wage and given access to private dental care.
‘I am personally confident that this will be a great success, but we’re not being complacent and are determined to make sure we get everything absolutely right.’ continued Mr Gray, ‘We’re still coming up with new ideas and looking to the future too. We are currently looking into producing a diet range of pre-digested meals, where you simply open the jar, tip them out and flush, giving you all of the fun and none of the calories.’
A joint effort between VCG, waylandsmithy and Button, none of who could be bothered to write a full sub on their own.