Anyone over 60 applying for a bus pass will be turned down if they are revealed to use recreational drugs in a new Government cost cutting crackdown estimated to 'save billions'.
'Seniors' will now have to fill in a form asking whether they 'do now or have ever thought of Keith Richards as a 'main man' and have 'bought or intend to buy' the new version of Exile On Main Street - or are you happy with your original album which you still listen to completely out of your brain and really don't give a shit?'
A Government spokesperson, aged 21, said: 'This will save us mega amounts given the amount of over 60s still pissed or stoned on their redundancy payments. Bloody baby boomers...they're all at it. If they tick the Stones box they've had it.'
Age Concern promptly issued guidelines: 'We advise everyone applying for a bus pass, stoned or not stoned or indeed totally out of their heads to tick the next box which asks: 'Are you a fan of Cliff Richard?' You should also say your drug of choice is warfarin. But don't add you wash it down with Jack Daniels.'
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Bus passes to be refused for over 60s recreational drug users
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offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago #
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