Ed Miliband scaled Primrose Hill early today to claim Labour was the party of morally decent inter-city rail travel.
Flanked by close family friends, PC Bob Blunt and WPC Ron Noblet, Mr Miliband introduced the two policeman, patted them on the back and declared that when he is Prime Minister everyone in the Met will be invited for Christmas in Downing Street. He then announced that all rail passengers will be equal, the moment Labour wins the 2015 general election. Whether travelling first or second class and whether educated at St Paul's School, Eton College or the local comprehensive.
Asked to explain what he was talking about, he promised a General Strike. “There'll be no oiks, no plebs, and certainly no stinking rich privileged toffs after 2015.”
“We'll still be deep in the shit together.”