The British public can expect a few unexpected twists when they tune in for this week’s final instalment of ‘Coalition’, the seemingly never-ending story of a country trying to find someone competent and trustworthy enough to run it.
Voters will discover that every member of the cabinet, and not just Kenneth Clarke, is in fact dead and existing in a state of purgatory manifesting itself as the House of Commons.
The character of Lord Mandelson is revealed to be an evil genius whose sole purpose is to entice the undead souls of politicians into the underworld, portrayed here as the single European currency.
The final scenes will tie up all the loose ends that have entranced the millions of Britons who have followed this saga since its beginning.
David Cameron is finally confronted by Nick Clegg and reveals himself to be the regeneration of all past Tory Prime Ministers. He has a mission to foil Mandelson and right the wrongs of previous administrations, but admits he is powerless on his own and needs someone else to support him. With Clegg’s help Cameron is able to gain approval from the higher power, played with great authority by Elizabeth Windsor. This enables him to send the tortured souls of the ministers to their idea of heaven, the final shot showing this to be the House of Lords where they enjoy an open expenses account and regular fact-finding missions to the Maldives.
But that isn’t all, as things are left teasingly open-ended when in a final twist the action switches to a parallel universe where Labour are in power, Gordon Brown is still in charge and the UK is in the midst of the greatest era of prosperity it has ever seen. England are seen winning the World Cup and Take That are victorious in The Eurovision Song Contest, unemployment is nil and everyone receives free beer on the NHS as it has been medically proven to promote longer life.