Employees of uniformed services including police, fire and security companies will be required to sport full moustaches from April 2013 in a bid to gain more respect from the public.
Male and female employees will face disciplinary action if they fail to comply with the new regulations which have been put in force by employers after an increase in public indifference to authority.
Birmingham traffic warden, Sydney Challenor is just one of thousands of wardens across the UK who will have to adhere to the new ruling, “I’ve worn a moustache for the past thirty years which sits just seven eighths below the peak of my cap. I’ve never had any bother as people regard me as a Nazi in any case so it has always been a big help to me. I am worried though for my female counterparts as they may have to use mascara to thicken their existing whiskers. This could cause problems in inclement weather.”
Unions have been quick to react to the decision. “This is a tough call for some of our members, especially the less hirsute.” Said Solidarity spokesman, Reginald Hardcastle. “Whilst most female prison officers will be able to comply with the new rules we do have members who may have to invest in false facial hair pieces. These expenses will have to be met by employers.”
Midwives, lollipop ladies and members of the Salvation Army will be exempt from the new ruling, however there is still confusion from customer facing Post Office employees who are still negotiating with bosses.