London is to bid for the 2016 Olympic Games, the British Olympic Association has announced.
"We need something to lift the national mood, which has been in the toliet since the Spice Girls finished their closing ceremony set," said Tom Daley, the bid's official spokesman. "London is the perfect candidate. We've got the venues, we've got the crowds and this time we won't even hire G4S. It's going to be top."
London Mayor Boris Johnson described the bid as "momentous for Britain," and said he was "fully behind those getting the splendid women's volleyball players back again."
Rio de Janeiro remains the front runner to win the campaign, but London's hopes have been raised after an impassioned presentation by Lord Coe and a renewed commitment from the IOC to brown envelopes stuffed with cash.

It would be the first time the Olympics has been held in Britain since August.
