Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin have accidently stumbled across a possible link between Serbian football fans and the evolutionary trudge from ape to human. The link lies somewhere between Homo Habilis about 1.9million years back and modern Homo Sapiens.
The breakthrough has led to scientists uncovering astounding behavioural traits which are directly associated with Homo Habilis, or "handy man," named for its sophisticated grip and tool making skills. These have been evidenced at international football matches where Serbian fans have reacted to stimuli in the form of black players from opposing nations or to anything beyond their comprehension. This has resulted in aggressive stances and group hysteria which manifests into the production of ape-like noises seemingly designed to frighten their 'enemies'.
Leading Geneticist, Professor Fritz Lederman from the Max Planck Institute said, “Closer examination of these fans has also revealed that they share a similar brain capacity with Homo Habilis at around 600 cm³ which is considerably smaller than the 1350 to 1450 cm³ range of modern Homo sapiens. This is a very exciting finding.”
Other primitive traits have also been noted such as knuckle dragging and a pronounced brow ridge.
“We have found also that a possible bulge in the Broca area shows that these fans are only capable of rudimentary speech hence the predilection for the ape-like sounds they use for communication. The throwing of stones, banana skins and other implements is another indication of the close ancestral relationship with Homo Habilis.”
FIFA representatives were unavailable for comment last night but a spokesman for the Serbian Football Fan Association said, “Ooooooaaaaaaa! Ooooooaaaaaaa! Ooooooaaaaaaa!