In a recent press release by the Monarchy, The Queen has admitted to being fondled and then propositioned by the late Sir Jimmy Savile, fuelling allegations of sex abuse by the former BBC DJ and TV presenter.
In an unusally frank and open statement the queen gave a detailed account of the alleged incident.
"The event occurred in 1996, obviously when one was still in one's prime, during tea and biscuits in the reception room at Buckingham Palace, after Mr Savile had been knighted. I thought he was coming over for a friendly chat to once more say thanks for his honour, when he proceeded to grab my breasts and whisper that he would like to bestow a great honour on me, after which he dropped his trousers and exclaimed "How's about that then!".
The Queen went on to say that it was only since Mr Savile had died that she felt confident enough to come forward.
"Jimmy was held in such high esteem by the nation and was a very powerful man. I wasn't sure that the police would believe the allegations."
Although clearly upset at recalling the memories of the events that took place that day, the Queen ended the statment by winking mischieviously and indicicating that the incident did have it's benefits.
"It did make me extremely horny, Prince Philip enjoyed himself immensely in the Royal Quarters that night, and for those of you that that are interested, my husband has the bigger willy".