In a desperate attempt to pre-empt further accusations of complicity, in the wake of a series of child abuse scandals surrounding public figures associated with the broadcaster, the BBC today announced that it is reconsidering it's relationship with the British Monarchy.
The decision was made after a researcher working on an upcoming documentary on medieval England discovered that several former Monarchs had routinely used their positions of power and authority to traffic and marry teenagers and very young children for political power, financial advantage and pleasure.
A press release issued by the BBC stated that "The discovery that in 1396 King Richard II at the age of 29 chose to take 6 year old Isabella of Vallois as his second wife will not sit at all well with license payers. Further investigation has revealed that for centuries the practice of trafficking young girls, under the age of 16, for marriage has been rife amongst European Royal houses. This clearly marks the British monarchy as a tainted institution in which child abuse and corruption have been endemic over many years and therefore the BBC must carefully consider its continuing association with the Royals; or indeed whether, in light of our establishment by Royal Charter from the hands of these sorts of people, the BBC is a valid organisation at all!"
Shortly after the story broke many Daily Mail readers, went into meltdown as their traditional positions of ardent royalists came into conflict with their habitual need to get blindly fired up by the words 'scandal' and 'BBC' in the same sentence. In the meantime papers from the News International stable were calling for a ban on the Queen's Christmas speech, establishment of a republic and an investigation into why members of the Royal family visit so many hospitals. Readers of 'The Morning Star' and 'Socialist Worker' just looked smug and said "We told you so!".