Keith Lemon, the alter ego of comedian Leigh Francis is no longer outrageous according to recent opinion polls.
All of his latest attempts at obscenity and depravity are flat-lining as audiences show signs of becoming desensitised to his brand of shock inducing and filth laden wit.
Samantha Stevens from Balham and a loyal fan for the past 3 weeks said, “Even when he gropes Coleen Nolan’s breasts and sticks his tongue down his fans throats I can’t even raise a titter now. It’s like I’m numb to the affect he’s trying to have on me. I'm just not getting damp anymore.”
Lemon himself denies that fans are pulling out faster than a Catholic Priest in a prep school. “It’s all fucking rubbish. I am really, really funny. If I shoved my cock up your nostril you’d soon be laughing out of the other side of your head you bastard wanker. Now, how funny is that?” He said in a faux attempt at a depraved lisp.
Radio 1 DJ and Celebrity Juice team captain Fearne Cotton, 31 said “I am old enough to know that Leigh’s sense of humour is just juvenile and purile shit. However I am prepared to go all of the way with him if it increases my ratings and approval amongst the 16 to 25 male demographic. However, when I say all the way I don’t mean all of the way of course otherwise the BBC might get a bit twitchy in the light of recent events.”
Rumours that Leigh Francis’ next alter ego will be based on a prominent leader of the Taliban are as yet uncorroborated.