Famous atheist, Richard Dawkins, has called for Rudyard Kipling's 'The Elephant Child' to be banned from schools claiming the story plays into the hands of creationists. The tale about a curious elephant tries to explain, in a fun way, how the species ended up with such a long trunk. However, Dawkins and his army of atheists believe primary school story time should be based in fact, with 5 year olds being forced to discuss Darwins theory of evolution.
'I know that it is just a made up story' Mary Slater, a fundamental atheist explained, 'but so is the Bible, and look how much trouble that has caused. If you teach children that elephants have long trunks because one pulled to hard when a crocodile bit his nose, then you may as well teach them that horses can fix eggs, a man can turn water into wine, and the grand old Duke of York was very indecisive.'
Creationists have been very quick to dismiss the calls from Dawkins, claiming that Kipling's account is very accurate and cuts out all the 'scientific mumbo-jumbo' from the non-believers. A statement from the Church of England said 'although we admit the idea is a little far fetched, so is the idea that it evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to get things that are, well, a little far to fetch. We also feel obliged to believe Mr Kipling's version, as he gives us a very good discount on cakes for our fetes'
Not missing a chance to appear on television, Brian Cox has taken this opportunity to raise his concern of teaching children of a young age things that are factually inaccurate. 'I think we should be updating our folk tales and nursery rhymes to reflect what we now know' the floppy haired keyboard player told us. 'Twinkle twinkle little star, we now know exactly what you are, a giant ball of gas burning billions and billions of light years away like our very own sun. Not as catchy, but factually spot on.'
Prime Minister, David Cameron has told us the government has no plans to ban the story from schools, but says that it does highlight a number of issues. 'I have set up an inquiry to find out why the elephant's abuse was not taken seriously when it first came to light in 1902. Chief whip Andrew Mitchell will lead the inquiry as I believe he already lives in a land of fairy tales'