Recent reshuffling of the celebrity shame-list has resulted in Barrymore (75) lurching back into the ‘family safe zone’.
“On reflection” said one ITV Chief “Barrymore’s behaviour, on the newly adjusted scales, seems wholly within the acceptable tolerances for general public consumption”
Michael Barrymore (81) suffered catastrophic reputational decline following a few high profile indiscretions resulting in 10 years in the backwaters of showbiz. However, TV bosses are now ‘cock-a-hoop’ to get Barrymore back on the screens. “We all know that Michael likes the occasional drug and sex orgy and has a tendency to disregard poolside safety – but at least we can be sure he won’t be associated with this high profile, 40 year, completely public, systematic child abuse syndicate.”
It is expected that a number of stars will see a positive reappraisal of their media acceptability factor:
Celebs now bumped back into the ‘family safe zone'
Robert Kilroy Silk
Celebs now promoted to the ‘intermediate zone’*
*infrequent post-watershed appearances, ie. hosting lesser-known blooper clip shows or in Pantomime.
Late yesterday, Barrymore (67) spoke of his “intense relief and joy” after hearing that the inscription is being sandblasted off Savile’s gravestone, which will then be put back together, re-engraved and turned into a new memorial to the memory of Michael Barrymore. Barrymore’s previous tombstone got removed from his potential future grave-site in 2001 and he had reportedly felt “incomplete” knowing that he no longer had one.
In related news Noel Edmonds agent is “furious” that Edmonds still has to serve another 12 years on Deal or no Deal and that his client has not benefitted from this ‘celebrity pardon’. “In light of recent events, it is unjust that Noel will not receive parole from DOND until 2024”.