British Survivalists are said at the end of their snare line about recent laws and Health and Safety regulations which they say are making their lifestyle choice unsustainable.
Spokesman for the Union of Survivalists, Keith ’Bear’ Binns said “All we want to do is live in the woods, eat berries and nuts, gut rabbits, and await the coming apocalypse. But now the local council is poking it’s nose into my composting toilet saying ‘Have you done a course on big, sharp knife handling?, Is that crossbow legal?’, and ‘Do you realise you’ve dug that man trap on a public footpath?’. I'm not allowed to shoot game with the crossbow, so I have to go to Waitrose for Venison. It’s political correctness gone mad!”
Keith says that he would appeal to the European court over this harassment but “There is no point, because they will all soon be eaten by Zombies, or die of Ebola, or Nuclear war, or something. After that I’m looking forward to spending some quality time reading my copies of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, the Bible, and acting as High Lord and Executioner of anyone who enters my domain”.