Amateur philanthropist and Chair of the Nigerian Contracts Awards Service, Prince Joe Magunbani has spoken of his amazement at his failure to give away USD$600,000,000,000 to a total stranger.
The money, thought to be the result of an inexplicable over-payment by a foreign contractor, can only be accessed if transferred to an overseas bank account and Prince Joe is desperately appealing for assistance from anyone interested in receiving large sums of money from people they’ve never met. Due to unfathomable banking practices, Joe sadly needs a $10,000 down payment to access the funds.
Prince Joe said “I must have e-mailed over 100,000 people, mainly vulnerable pensioners with limited IT skills, but with no success. Perhaps I am not helping myself as my spelling is poor and I prefer the simple accessibility of a Hotmail account to the official government system. Despite this, I cannot overstate the non-specific urgency of this matter.”
A spokesperson for the Nigerian Banking Authority said “I’m not sure why but we do insist on a small down payment of USD$10,000 before allowing money to be transferred out of an account and we only allow money to be transferred to a foreign bank account, again for no real reason. It’s really bad for business, but them’s the rules.”
Prince Joe’s latest attempt to find a business partner was thwarted after it emerged that the potential investor, a former Saudi Defence Minister, could only access the requisite $10,000 if Joe himself provided a down payment of $10,000 for administration costs.