The BBC have confirmed that, as part of their frantic effort to expunge any archival record of disgraced former Disc Jockey & presenter Jimmy Savile, he will be digitally replaced in all episodes of Top Of The Pops with random images of London Mayor Boris Johnson. A spokesman pointed out that as both are blonde, sartorially challenged and prone to making incomprehensible utterances & gesticulations, viewers are unlikely to notice any substantial difference between the two as presenters. Boris is presently riding high on a wave of popularity with the British public and, despite having some history of not being able to keep it in his trousers, is not accused of being a nonce. BBC executives feel that his presence as a paste in replacement for Savile in TOTP may serve not only to divert attention away from suspicions that the BBC were somehow complicit in the alleged paedophillic activities of the late presenter, but also to boost BBC 3's flagging viewing figures for re-runs.
Rumours that a similar substitution is being considered for Savile's other BBC vehicle "Jim'll Fix It" have been denied by both the BBC and Boris. Mr Johnson is adamant that he'll only consider allowing his name to go at the top of the iconic "... fixed it for me" badge if the BBC agree to fund a new airport to the east of London.