Once upon a time in a Kingdom called United, there was a Prime Minister who tried so hard to be one of the 'normal' people he would often find himself looking a little bit silly.
One day, The Prime Minister was approached by 2 civil servants who promised they could make him a policy that would be so great only normal people could see it. Although he was a little skeptical, the promise of being made to look in touch with the commoners was one he had to take. He ordered the civil servants to go away, and weave him the policy.
Three week's had passed and the Prime Minister was starting to get a little restless. He went to visit the civil servants to check on their progress.
'Prime Minister, come and see what we have created so far' One of the civil servants said excitedly as he led him into an air-conditioned office, dimly lit with an energy saving light bulb. 'We still have much work to do, but I think you will see we have a policy so great, so beautiful, and so right wing only common people who read The Sun will be able to see it'.
The Prime Minister looked down at the piece of paper, but to his surprise he was unable to see anything. Not wanting to look like a man who went to Eton and might be out of touch, the Prime Minister hailed the half created policy. 'This must be the finest piece of future legislation I have ever seen' he said nervously looking over at his advisers. His advisers smiled reassuringly back at him, not wanting to admit they to could see nothing.
Another two weeks passed and the time had come for the Prime Minister to show his new policy for all the kingdom to see - it was the Conservative Party Conference. Five minutes before his keynote speech, the civil servants presented the Prime Minister with his shiny new policy. Although he was still unable to see it written on the 12 pages handed to him, he praised their hard work and as reward promised to review their pay freeze.
Proudly showing off his new policy the Prime Minister skipped on stage in front of delegates, both awake and asleep. With fear of coming across a bit middle class, and with the threat of the chief whip calling them all 'plebs', every single one of the delegates stood and cheered as the Policy was paraded in front of them.
All the delegates cheered, except one. With nothing to lose, and not really caring what the others thought, one childish baboon shouted what his eyes saw, and the first thing that came to mind. 'There's nothing there' shouted the man known only as the Mayor of London. 'The policy is at invisible, completely see-through' the blond ape shouted as he was bundled out of the hall by security.
However, the Prime Minister knew that the Mayor's bumbling word were true. Suddenly he realised that he had been fooled by the bitter and mischievous civil servants. Up on the stage, without a real policy to show for all his time in office, the Prime Minister carried on despite feeling naked.
The next day, and after looking more out of touch than ever, the Prime Minister banished the civil servants to a life of low pay, confusing and changing workload, and abuse from senior ministers.