Met Police commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe has promised to 'get tough' on Jimmy Savile and issued an uncompromising ultimatum to the serial sex offender. Drawing himself to his full height, the self styled no-nonsense action hero issued a public warning to the dirty DJ: "Hand yourself in now or we will find you and bring you in for questioning. Even if you're dead."
The tough on paper police chief has promised a retrospective policy of zero tolerance to previously untouchable celebrity sex offenders. "I want to reassure the public that I take sound bites and eye catching gestures very seriously," he said.
Highly trained police sniffer dogs and elite Metropolitan Police storm troopers have been taken off riot-evading duty and motorist bullying to join the hunt for the turntable tormentor of teens.
Hogan-Howe is understood to have put together a crack squad of press release writers, media trainers and image makers, in an effort to convince the public that The Met Police is on the case and that London is open for business, twenty four seven.
Hogan-Howe chose to recite an adapted passage from a classic Sylvester Stallone movie. "Savile is the disease - and I'm the cure," he told an aggrievance of crime reporters. "I"m gonna stick to this case like shit to a blanket. If he eats chilli, I'm gonna get heart burn. I'm gonna bust this guy's chops and I don't mind putting my ass on the line."
Some critics have suggested that Hogan-Howe is posturing and that Savile offers little threat, on account of being dead and buried in Yorkshire. But Scotland Yard's top maverick cop warned Londoners that they cannot afford to be complacent. "If Jimmy Savile gets out of his box, he's a dead man walking," said Hogan-Howe. "The guy's dead meat, and I don't care what the bosses uptown say. I'm keeping the streets safe. Unless some rioters turn up."