The traditional Bonfire festival of the burning of a 17th Century man in effigy for trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament has been replaced this year by the burning of an effigy of a 20th Century DJ in a gold-lamé tracksuit, for blowing up people's childhoods.
"We like to think of ourselves as a restrained and civilised society", said the Prime Minister David Cameron "but this crazed DJ, charity marathon runner and pedophile has cast a shadow on all of our lives, especially those of us who grew up writing to this sick man on TV asking if they could fix it for me to be 'Queen of the May' or 'Prime Minister' or in some cases, both".
"But occasionally we as a nation need to vent our spleen against dead people who did bad things, which is why I'm inaugurating November 5th 2012 as the first "Burn a DJ" night. Bring your sparklers, candy floss and see the fireworks as we celebrate our centuries old barbarism in a controlled and civilized family-oriented event"
Hat tip to FlashArry for the inspiration.