The Chancellor of the Exchequer today announced that the country would return to imperial currency immediately. He said "I got the idea when I was chatting to my dad who was reminiscing about the good old days when no one else could understand our system of currency. He longed for the time when we could rip off tourists left right and centre and they were non the wiser. I thought - wait a minute!."
The move is expected to completely bamboozle the foreign exchange markets, not to mention bus conductors and Gen Y'ers as well as tourists.
"We will also bring back all the old terms" said Osborne. "We will have florins, half a crowns, guineas, tanners, ha'pennies, and an all day bus ticket will be four pounds seventeen and eight" he added with a smirk. "Let's see those tossers on Wall Street try to manipulate our currency now!"