The Queen is to be the face of a new TV channel, Regal Television, scheduled to go on air in Spring 2013.
Originally planned to be called MTV (Monarch Television), until the Prince Currently Known As Harry pointed out that this might lead to confusion amongst the crucial 18-25 demographic, the station has announced a unique mix of programmes.
“An Audience with the Queen” will be an in-depth weekly discussion of politics and current affairs between Her Majesty, the Prime Minister and other ministers whom she summons as she sees fit. Breaking with tradition, the audience will not take place behind closed doors but will instead be broadcast live in front of a glittering array of celebrities. “It’s our concept, it’s time we took it back from ITV,” commented a spokesman.
“Pomp My Ride” features handy tips on embossing your car in gold leaf and the best deals on cleaning chauffeurs’ uniforms, while “An Englishman’s Home” will do the same for everyone struggling with such problems as rotting battlements and the care of thousands of acres of land.
In sport, exclusive rights have been gained to broadcast all matches in the Polo Super League. Sports and nature-lovers alike are catered for in two series, narrated by Prince Charles, which feature the life-cycle of foxes and grouse.
And a right royal twist will be given to the celebrity family history genre with “Royal Roots”, a co-production between Regal Television and its German and Greek partners.