Just for a laugh how about this topic becomes a space to share your most offensive joke with impunity. Notional and valueless prize for the most offensive.
Can I give you a starter?
Wife in coma in hospital
Nurse notices a reaction during an intimate bed bath and suggests to the husband that, although a long shot, oral sex may get a break through.
Husband agrees to give it a go but after a few minutes the bells and lights all go off as his wife flatlines.
Nurse rushes back in; "What happened?"
"Dunno" says the bloke "She must have choked".