A team of eminent neurologists has linked memory loss to the introduction of Facebook Timeline and satellite locational devices.
In a study of over 10,000 Facebook users it has been found that Timeline is replacing the consolidation of information in both short and long term memory in humans and their spatial awareness. Hence getting from A to B without the aid of Timeline, Google Street View or GPS software such as TomTom may prove impossible within a few generations.
In short, humans will no longer need to store information in their brains as Facebook will control this function, thus freeing the mind to concentrate on the here and now. Memories will be stored in one convenient place, somewhere within the vaults of Silicon Valley.
Professor Albert Cummings of University College London explains, “The hippocampus, the memory part of the brain and a major component of the brains of humans and other vertebrates is fast becoming redundant with the use of social media. Studies have shown that the volume of the hippocampus on each side of the brain prior to the introduction of Timeline was about 3–3.5 cm3. Our research now indicates that this drops to 1-1.5cm3 after prolonged exposure to many social networking and locational sites.
In other mammals, where the use of Facebook is unknown, there are still strong spatial skills, particularly those that relate to the location of food and the opposite sex. There is increasing evidence that some mammals, particularly lions, bears and wolves are developing a larger hippocampus than humans, and that this will ultimately lead to them becoming the dominant species. Fish have a good chance too so humans will ultimately become the food of choice for many species.
Professor Cummings concluded, “There is a strong reason to believe that the decline in the size of the human hippocampus through the use of Timeline and other software and devices will spell the end of mankind. However, as a regular user of Facebook I can confidently say that it has not affected me and that as a regular user of Facebook it has not affected and as a regular user of Facebook it has not….